high expectations

in between applications and job interviews, it took me this long to write.. anyway, the supposed to be "big" date was not so great after all. More than a week ago, we met for coffee at this hip place at the mall. i was looking for someone who was wearing a blue shirt. i saw someone wearing that color through the glass door. his back was behind me so i couldn't exactly see what he looks like. from his texts, he described himself as tall and lanky, moreno and kind of cute. those were his words.
i took a deep breath and tapped his shoulder. i was going, "hi, im carrie--", he turned around and i stopped in mid-sentence. he was NOT kind of cute... not even close. Ohmigod! Yes, he was tall and lanky but that was it. I quickly regained my composure and sat down opposite him. i wanted the day to end right then.
forgive me for saying this but i was not about to be seen by my EX with this guy. I was thinking more of a boyfriend material type of guy. like my ex.. he doesn't have to be Mr. Universe you know. just someone decent looking.. This guy, Vince, just didn't have that X-factor that i was kind of hoping for. he sounded really nice on the phone and sweet in his texts. Guess i was really disappointed. Vince said he was kind of cute! DUH... so that's what it means when a guy says he's "kinda cute".
out of respect, i went through with the coffee date even a movie afterwards. thank God it was a weekday. Few people were at the mall that day. he kept trying to hold my hand during the movie. i was careful to keep my hands away from him. what made him think that i like him anyway? i will never see him again. damn this friend of a friend who gave this guy my number.

textmate

the past month has been crazy! my friends started to hook me up with available guys they know. they even gave my number to a guy so that we could get to know each other through texting.. i said to myself, why not? after all, i am a free woman. there's no harm with making friends. i should expand my social circle, meet new people, try new things. i wasn't looking for another relationship but i certainly am walking the road to recovery.
sure, i miss him every now and then but there was no more pain. only emptiness. i no longer wanted him back. i was going to be better without him.
this guy, Vince, texted me one night and said that he got my number from one of my friends. they were in a class together. he was kind and sweet in his messages. at least, my phone was no longer silent. we've been texting for 2 weeks now.. we decided to meet in person... today! i wonder what he's like..